So Mom and Dad you really are forking out the cash for something! My english class is so interesting and fun that I actually like writing now! We talk about nasty stuff we see in Daytona Beach, people throwing flip flops out their windows on ISB, we watch scary movies, and violent ones too! Professor Perez also makes us blog about grotesque things that have happened to us here, as you may have already found out! Finally though, I understand the true meaning of grotesque.
There is a difference between white trash and country! And that is one of the key things I have learned in this class. I always knew the South was different, but I never knew that it would be like this! Unlike calculus and physics and programming, we don't take notes in here; instead, we bombard the teacher with random grotesque events and situations all through class. I guess this is the best way for engineers to learn and interact with the english language, very smart English Department!
Another key topic in his class is satire writing and I have taken a nice fondness to it, get it?
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
The Back Road of Doom
The Astronomy Club here is so cool, let me tell you! A few weeks ago the Astronomy Club held a star party near Kennedy Space Center. The road that the Space Center is on is so long and so dark that it's perfect for a star party. For those of you who do not know what a star party is, it's where a bunch of nerdy astronomy lovers group together and look at the sky with telescopes and binoculars, and basically just sit around and watch.
Justin, Andrew, and I were on our way to the party but none of us knew exactly where it was located so we were driving up and down this 20 mile long pitch black road that Kennedy Space Center is on, looking for the site. "I think it's down that dark grown over trail-looking road there!" I suggested to Justin, who was driving, after we passed a group of cars congregating at a different open, nice trail.
We made a turn down this "Texas Chainsaw Road" as quoted by Justin, and it was so grown over that we could hardly tell even where the road was! "I don't think this is it.." Andrew said after Justin had to dodge a huge puddle in the middle.
"No, this has to be it!" I pressed, before we reached the obvious end of the trail. Nobody in their right mind would have even opened one of the doors. We drove back to the main road while everyone complained about scary monsters coming out of the woods, while I was only afraid of the spiders.
Finally, we went back to where all the cars were and realized that the ERAU student van was sitting right outside it. We walked ourselves back to the party and it was one of the most amazing events I have ever experienced. The Milky Way was streaked all over the sky and there was a countless amount of stars everywhere. Breathtaking. Come to the next one!
Justin, Andrew, and I were on our way to the party but none of us knew exactly where it was located so we were driving up and down this 20 mile long pitch black road that Kennedy Space Center is on, looking for the site. "I think it's down that dark grown over trail-looking road there!" I suggested to Justin, who was driving, after we passed a group of cars congregating at a different open, nice trail.
We made a turn down this "Texas Chainsaw Road" as quoted by Justin, and it was so grown over that we could hardly tell even where the road was! "I don't think this is it.." Andrew said after Justin had to dodge a huge puddle in the middle.
"No, this has to be it!" I pressed, before we reached the obvious end of the trail. Nobody in their right mind would have even opened one of the doors. We drove back to the main road while everyone complained about scary monsters coming out of the woods, while I was only afraid of the spiders.
Finally, we went back to where all the cars were and realized that the ERAU student van was sitting right outside it. We walked ourselves back to the party and it was one of the most amazing events I have ever experienced. The Milky Way was streaked all over the sky and there was a countless amount of stars everywhere. Breathtaking. Come to the next one!
Do You Want a Taser to That Ass?
Wow. That sucked. So my roommate and all my friends and I decided to go to Baskin Robbins. It was actually just Max, Andrew, Kenny, and me, but Justin decided to drive because he didn't want to make me squeeze in the back of Kenny's car, even though we wouldn't have had to have squeezed at all because it would have been four of us in his four seater car, and also Andrew asked him to join us for company. So it was kind of pointless for Justin to have gone, but I went with him and the other three went together. On the way there, Justin and I pulled up to a stop light and the other car pulled up right next to us.
It was the perfect situation for a nice mooning, so I shoved my rear end out the window right in their faces! It was hilarious! Once the light turned green we started going and after a few seconds, we saw police lights flashing behind us. Justin pulled over and swore it was because of his brake light, which was a little dim or something. Au contraire, mon ami! We pulled over and the officer knocked on my window instead of Justin's and threatened to give me a taser to my ass if he saw it out the window again!
"Are you from here?" The officer asked condescendingly.
"No, New Jersey." I meekly replied.
"Well if a cop saw you doing that there, what would he have done?"
"I don't know, I've never gotten pulled over for mooning someone." I answered.
"If I see that ass out that window again I'm going to taser it!" He threatened for the last time. They pulled away and let us go, so we were on our way. Once over the bridge and turned onto A1A, we saw another set of police lights flashing behind us!
We pull into an empty parking lot and the female officer knocks on my window once again.
"Can you lift the window halfway?" After which, she put a box around it checking the tint level. How unfortunate, Justin. His tint was about 27% and the limit was 15%, too dark! So now he needs to get them fixed and pay $90. It was actually his first time getting pulled over, that night, and it happened twice in a row! He didn't even need to come with us, he just did because Andrew asked him to come along for company, at least Andrew bought him an ice cream!
It was the perfect situation for a nice mooning, so I shoved my rear end out the window right in their faces! It was hilarious! Once the light turned green we started going and after a few seconds, we saw police lights flashing behind us. Justin pulled over and swore it was because of his brake light, which was a little dim or something. Au contraire, mon ami! We pulled over and the officer knocked on my window instead of Justin's and threatened to give me a taser to my ass if he saw it out the window again!
"Are you from here?" The officer asked condescendingly.
"No, New Jersey." I meekly replied.
"Well if a cop saw you doing that there, what would he have done?"
"I don't know, I've never gotten pulled over for mooning someone." I answered.
"If I see that ass out that window again I'm going to taser it!" He threatened for the last time. They pulled away and let us go, so we were on our way. Once over the bridge and turned onto A1A, we saw another set of police lights flashing behind us!
We pull into an empty parking lot and the female officer knocks on my window once again.
"Can you lift the window halfway?" After which, she put a box around it checking the tint level. How unfortunate, Justin. His tint was about 27% and the limit was 15%, too dark! So now he needs to get them fixed and pay $90. It was actually his first time getting pulled over, that night, and it happened twice in a row! He didn't even need to come with us, he just did because Andrew asked him to come along for company, at least Andrew bought him an ice cream!
Biketoberfest!
Wow, what a freakin' experience! It was my first anything-toberfest so I'm glad I got to be a part of it. I wasn't much of a part of it as I claim though, it was more like my friends and me driving down Main Street and looking at all the bikers. It was a truly grotesque experience.
Before we even turned down Main Street a drunkard with no shirt on and pants falling down wearing no underwear slapped our window yelling something about "She stole my shirt!" This, unsurprisingly, was a really accurate foreshadowing to the events that would take place as we drove down the main street.
Driving along the strip of motorcycles, there were countless women wearing fishnet, leather, sliced up tops, looking like they just woke up with their hair all messy. The men were just as bad, their denim jackets were in tatters and it seemed like they enjoyed living in destitute, or liked looking like they did at least. Kind of a weird lifestyle, bar hopping and cigarette smoking. I would never have guessed that these people would be like this, because my parents happen to be avid Harley Davidson riders!
Unlike these goons, however, my parents are classy bike riders, calling themselves a creamscicle due to my Dad's orange Harley, and my Mom's white one.
I'm glad i didn't get raped or harrassed too badly at this event, maybe I will actually get out of the car next time!
Before we even turned down Main Street a drunkard with no shirt on and pants falling down wearing no underwear slapped our window yelling something about "She stole my shirt!" This, unsurprisingly, was a really accurate foreshadowing to the events that would take place as we drove down the main street.
Driving along the strip of motorcycles, there were countless women wearing fishnet, leather, sliced up tops, looking like they just woke up with their hair all messy. The men were just as bad, their denim jackets were in tatters and it seemed like they enjoyed living in destitute, or liked looking like they did at least. Kind of a weird lifestyle, bar hopping and cigarette smoking. I would never have guessed that these people would be like this, because my parents happen to be avid Harley Davidson riders!
Unlike these goons, however, my parents are classy bike riders, calling themselves a creamscicle due to my Dad's orange Harley, and my Mom's white one.
I'm glad i didn't get raped or harrassed too badly at this event, maybe I will actually get out of the car next time!
Monday, October 27, 2008
Maury - Quality Television
Wow! What a show. I was watching Maury earlier today and it was the episode about the 14 year olds having sex with 20 and over year olds. Classy. Also, not having only were they having sex, but hey were doing drugs, stealing, and lying to their parents. I could not take my eyes off of these grotesque young "ladies" and it didnt hurt that they weren't the most attractive girls either. They were basically so repulsive that I wanted to change the channel, but it seemed like watching them made me feel a little bit better about myself; at least I wasn't in their situation.
These girls not only made me feel better about myself, but they made me feel accomplished that I might actually make my parents proud, which killed me the most about them. Not only did they break all of their parents' rules, but they completely disrespected them, cursing at them, breaking their things, and even worse, physically attacking them!
Therefore, I am glad that I am not a trashy 14 year old who has sex with 24 year olds.
These girls not only made me feel better about myself, but they made me feel accomplished that I might actually make my parents proud, which killed me the most about them. Not only did they break all of their parents' rules, but they completely disrespected them, cursing at them, breaking their things, and even worse, physically attacking them!
Therefore, I am glad that I am not a trashy 14 year old who has sex with 24 year olds.
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